…. so instead of pushing through some more photo editing that I have waiting for me – I decided to write you something (i know – way over due)
Coz I’m not sure you fully understand me – And I totally get that – because I don’t really let a lot of people understand me (and have been shocking at this block lately)
I do deal with many people on a daily basis, and if I’ve photographed you then somehow or another I’ve weaseled my way into your space to effectively do my job, but I feel that very few of you get what I’m about – and thus confusion and assumptions come along and then suddenly the world becomes grey and murky and decidedly less hospitable.
I’m just trying to provide for my family – basically that’s it
I am overwhelmingly Blessed that I get to provide for my family while enriching other people’s lives for which I am grateful – but what I don’t think you maybe appreciate is that
Although I find capturing moments of time – and more importantly documenting souls that cross my path – the most wonderful fulfilling gift I can give to the world, it still comes back to me trying to protect and provide for my amazing wife and child (soon to be children)
I guess I wish my bank balance was clothed in more zeros and my debt was erased – so that I could truly say that I do what I do for sheer joy and love of it, because money just saddens me and frustrates me that I have to need it
I wish I could work for free – and then this whole horrible money thing wouldn’t have to be a daily thing I have to handle
If you feel that I am aloof or arrogant because I don’t mingle in photography circles – or enter competitions – or belong to camera clubs – or don’t have tons of photographer friends – or any stars or degrees behind my name – or get involved in the gossip and politics of the fashion industry – then I really apologize because that is not who I am.
Please understand that it’s not because I think I am special – I really avoid it because I really need to just get through the work I have in front of me – and concentrate fully on whoever has paid for my time and expertise, because it’s the right thing to do – and I would rather concentrate my efforts on things and people I can effect (in my realm of influence) than spend valuable mental energy and physical time talking and dealing with things that aren’t my business – I simply cannot afford it – my little ADD brain and intellect requires that I manage and monitor the amount of noise and unnecessary contact in my life (no news/newspapers/magazines/radio for over a decade)
I am just busy trying to be the best husband and father I can be – which means I need to be focused
I really enjoyed taking your picture – I really did (and would still like to if you are reading this and we haven’t even met or worked together)
the challenge of getting you to trust me and allow me to capture the true essence of you was wonderful
However – Photography is something I never chose/studied/planned or even considered until one day I suddenly it was how I was paying my bills
funny hey – even sounds weird to me reading this back to myself
I basically became a photographer because my poor poor poor memory was always going to silence all the beautiful things I saw when I decided to travel the world after high school
then – over the years – it suddenly was all I did and do
I think it’s my love of people that drew me to it – and God’s Blessing that made it sustainable as a career
but I don’t feel very respectable taking too much credit for my success
How do I (or does any decent minded photographer) really try to take credit for the natural God given beauty that my subject possessed both before and after I took their photograph – that’s just crazy soup!!
It is what it is I guess – this what I do and I do it as well I can with what I am given and will continue to do so until my site or breath leaves me
I’m just a really simple guy
Trying to do a thing he has been most gifted at
to fulfill his purpose as a husband and a father
To the thousands of you who have have supported me over the last decade
– weather it be in business or friendship or encouragement or even just a smile –
Thank you
(As I too all need all the help I can get – like most out there :-))

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